Well, it has finally happened, they have discovered our secret, we can no long hide the fact that we are keeping people in the dark about the earth being flat so that we can…what is it exactly that we are trying to do that makes us want to fool people into thinking the earth is round? Well, never mind, I know there is some reason, and the common man has finally discovered our plot, whatever it is!
It all goes back to Ptolemy and his lying star charts, and Eratosthenes and his lying mathematical calculations, and just so we know it is a global conspiracy, lets add the somewhat latter works of this Indian guy named Aryabhata who did some lying for us during the common era!
But now, they have found us out, we have been caught in this global conspiracy, and our motives, which I am still having trouble remembering, will be found out, and all because of B.o.B. That’s right, Bob!
That’s right, rapper B.o.B. has discovered our secret and now knows that we will fall off the world if we travel too far in any direction!
Now, to all my Illuminati and Tri-Lateral commission friends, could you please remind me exactly why we have perpetrated this hoax on all mankind? You can just tell me at our next meeting.